Your body language should funnel the person into your embrace. Step toward him or her to make the invitation more clear. Look your hugging partner in the eyes, and watch her face to make sure that she is open to being hugged. If the person steps forward to meet your embrace, then he or she has accepted the hug. It's time to enter hug mode. If you aren't sure, wait until the person you want to hug extends his or her arms.
This is a safe strategy — but you may also consider how much you can brighten someone's day by initiating the hug yourself. If the person doesn't step into your hug, then don't force it.
Lower your arms and try to back off gracefully. Let it go. Consider announcing your hug. Say, "Can I hug you? By making your intentions clear, you may be able to clear the air and create a mutually comfortable space. Know when you don't need to ask. In most cases, you don't need to announce your hug — especially if you know someone well, or if you have hugged before.
Bear in mind that the hug will likely feel more natural if you just do it. Be genuine. Don't expect anything from the hug other than warmth and a shared moment. If you are hugging with a warm heart and a genuine desire to make someone feel better, you will likely come across as friendly and welcoming.
If you are trying to use the hug to get something from someone, then they probably won't feel as comfortable. Determine your hugging style. This will depend on your personality and who you happen to be hugging.
Some people are able to fearlessly rock the bear hug: they spread their arms wide and tightly hug everyone that they meet — and they might even pick people up! Others are subtler and less committal in their approach: they've perfected the side-hug the bro-hug.
Watch various people hug each other, and decide which hug is best for a given situation. The bear hug: Throw all of yourself into each hug. Hold tight and be loving. Rest your head on your hugging partner's chest or shoulder. Unabashedly show your love. The side-hug: This approach is subtle and low-commitment.
Sidle up next to someone and reach out with one arm. Slide your arm around their shoulder if you're taller or around their back, below their arm if you're shorter. Face the same direction as your hugging partner, squeeze their shoulder gently, and let go when it feels appropriate. The bro-hug: This is a casual hug between friends, characterized by a quick and low-contact embrace. Keep your butt out, lean in, and pat your friend on the back times. Try leaning forward from a handshake into a quick, one-armed back-pat.
Method 2. Hug warmly. If you are hugging someone in a platonic way, you don't need to worry about being "too forward" or holding back. The goal here is to show someone how much you appreciate them — so make it a good hug.
Wait for the right moment, then wrap your arms around the person and hold them close. Most people appreciate a good hug.
If you are genuine and comforting in your hugs, people will notice. Don't be afraid to share your love! This is especially important if you're hugging to comfort someone. The warmer you come across, the more loved your hugging partner will feel. Try not to make people uncomfortable. This means that you shouldn't take a platonic hug too far. Don't squeeze so tight that the person is in pain or can't breathe.
Don't touch any private parts or sensitive areas unless your hugging partner has given you permission. Don't put your face too close to theirs, or breathe heavily in their ear, or step on their toes.
Use your best judgment, and lighten up your approach if the person seems uncomfortable with the situation. Embrace a family member. You don't need to think too much about it — the purpose of hugging family is to show a simple, platonic love, even if you don't terribly like the person.
You don't need to hug them tightly, although solid hugs both in firmness and duration tend to show more affection. Stroke your hands quickly across the top of the other person's back, and smile when you let go.
Hugging female relatives should be mostly the same. Hug your mom like you'd hug your grandmother like you'd hug your sister. Hugging male relatives can depend on the context and the relative; some men may prefer a handshake, if you're a male. Understand how people hug in your family. Some families are big on hugging, while others tend to keep physical contact at a minimum.
Watch how your other family members act with one another, then play to this hugging pattern to make sure that your relatives feel comfortable. Don't be afraid to keep it going. If you're just giving a quick, playful hug, you can let go after a few seconds. If the moment calls for a long hug, however, you don't need to feel self-conscious. Much like staring into someone's eyes, a long hug can be a powerful and intimate experience — and it can be a great way to connect with someone.
You may find that past a certain threshold, you can let yourself slip into the hug and simply enjoy the sensation of being held. Hug a friend. The depth and duration of the hug depend on the context: how close you are with this person, why you are hugging them, and how comfortable everyone is at the moment.
You may also find that there are different expectations from a hug depending on whether your hugging partner identifies as male or female. The important thing is that you are warm and genuine; your hug should show your friend how much you appreciate him or her.
Girls: Close your eyes and think about how much you appreciate your friend. Hold as tight as you like, but be careful not to squish your friend. Avoid patting your hugging partner on the shoulders: some girls may think that you don't like them if you pat them on the back without getting deep into a hug. Guys: Embrace each other firmly, and slap each other on the upper back or shoulders. If you're having an emotional moment, hold the hug for a brief moment and do not clap each others backs.
Be careful who you hug: some guys are very uncomfortable with male-on-male hugs, but others have no such qualms. Method 3. Pottinger says this would be risky. That goes for hugging, too. She advises standing your ground, however tempting it might be to get close.
Ultimately, we will all need to balance the risks, benefits, and our own comfort level when deciding what kind of physical contact we want to engage in now, including hugging. It may make sense to talk to friends or a partner before social activities to define that line for yourself and help everyone feel more connected, whether you opt to hug or not.
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